Diagnosis I was 8 years old when I was diagnosed with scoliosis. I was young and didn’t understand much of what it meant, but I remember the resistance I had towards that diagnosis. “There’s nothing wrong with me.” “I’m not different.” “I’m just like all other kids.” “If I don’t take this seriously, it’ll go away.” Except it didn’t go away. I did have a problem that other kids didn’t. And there was something wrong with my spine. If you don’t know, scoliosis means your spine isn’t as straight as it should, instead it curves into an S shape. Luckily, my curvature was not big enough to require surgery, but I did have to wear braces at school. I still remember the shame I felt on the first day when I wore braces to school. I wore a baggy shirt and you couldn’t tell what was going on beneath it. One of the mean girls commented I had put on weight and I said I had eaten a lot of chocolate cake lately. Yeah, I preferred to say I gained weight rather than talk about a health issue. At the time it was ok, we were kids, but this was a pattern I would carry on with me into my adulthood. Healthwise, I keep my scoliosis in check with yoga, swimming and even weight lifting for strong back muscles. While this helps keep my spine flexible, my curve stable and decreases my back pain, confidence can be harder to find. Here are some of the tips that have helped me over the years. Know that most people are uninformed, they don’t want to be mean Many times when people stare or ask questions, you can feel as though they are mean and judgemental. Even something as harmless as “Why do you keep your right shoulder higher than the left one?” can come off as judgemental if your confidence is low. And the unfortunate truth is that sometimes those comments are mean – those people are not worth taking into consideration. Take that as your queue to write them out of your life. And if you have to work with them, focus on whatever else may have started a conflict in the first place. However, know that most people who make remarks about your weird posture or your back are just uninformed. You’d be surprised how many people don’t know what scoliosis is. So kindly explain it to them. Try not to judge them poorly for not knowing. I’m sure you yourself are unaware of many diseases or at least know very little about them. Don’t focus on those who stare If your curve is visible (and even the smaller ones are in certain positions) sooner or later you might meet someone who will just stare. Let that be. Maybe even go back to tip number 1. They might be staring because they have no idea what is wrong with you. Yes, it is impolite to stare, but unfortunately, some people still do it. Don’t take it personally. Ideally, you either ignore them or if the setting allows it – maybe at the gym or swimming pool – take the time to shortly explain what is wrong with you. I usually say “yes, I have scoliosis, my spine is curved in an S shape. But it is not very serious, it does not impede with my day-to-day activities and certainly doesn’t stop me from doing what I want when I want.” You can adapt that to your situation. I’ve gotten some funny reactions to that line. Some people actually wanted to know more about scoliosis, others just blushed and didn’t say much because they realized I saw they were staring. I never received a mean comment back. Different is not always bad. It’s just different. The sad truth is, you are different. And there are things you have to do differently. And you can choose to see that as something bad, or you can just do you regardless of what others say. In the end, is it really that bad that you can’t wear that shirt like every other woman your age? That you have to wear a different style or accessorize it differently? It might make you stand out from the crowd, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. See the opportunities My biggest opportunity was that I learned to swim. My entire family can’t swim and they are all terrified of water! No kidding. But because swimming is highly recommended in scoliosis, my mum went over her fears and took me to swimming lessons. Now it’s probably my favorite sport, an amazing way to de-stress and a good way to be in shape. I also became very passionate about working out, but I hated doing physical therapy. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it, but I disliked feeling different, I wanted to go to the normal gym. So after years of trying to find trainers who knew what they were doing, who understood I could do most workouts, I just needed some modifications, I decided to become a trainer myself. Maybe your opportunities will be different than mine, but if you look closely, you’ll definitely find them. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet your future husband while doing physical therapy! Scoliosis doesn’t define you! Your physical body doesn’t define you! This is something many people struggle with, scoliosis or not. Society today puts a lot of pressure, especially on women, to look their best, to have perfect bodies. The perfect body is the one that allows you to walk, laugh, do the things you love, be with friends. There will always be a little imperfection to correct. If you put all your satisfaction in how you look, you will never be completely happy. But your body it’s just a part of you. It’s not who you are, it does not define your sense of humor, the things you are great at. If someone truly loves you, they’ll love you no matter what your physical issues are. And if they don’t love you because you have scoliosis, or scars, or cystic fibrosis, or for those extra pounds, let them go! You are better off without them! Wrapping up I hope you found these tips helpful for increasing your body confidence, whether you have scoliosis or other conditions or are just unhappy due to those extra pounds. What are some of the things you struggle with, what decreases your confidence, and how do you fight it? Laura is the blogger behind The Creators Tribe. She loves to travel, eat chocolate, and drink wine. She likes to write motivational blog posts, tips for writers and editors but also advice on how to live a healthy lifestyle, eat right and exercise to feel your best.